Friday, 19 September 2008

1 This post is likely to be the last one, the last one, that is, to China. Three weeks. Undoubtedly, an adventure, one which was experienced far, far away from East Grinstead.
Ah, what is it to have been to ...., I will ask. I wonder what you will say.

2 Remember ? Of course you do. Well, what do we take from, what do we return with from Morocco? In a way, a visit to Morocco may be akin to a visit to an opera, one which was enjoyed at the time but which was overlaid by later ones. Yet some operas do stand out. We do remember them. They help us to make sense of things (What things, I ask myself.) Or we are able to say 'I understand what the composer - Wagner comes to mind - wanted to say'.
Morocco, Morocco. What went on in Morocco, we'll ask.

3 Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there are jobs to do. There's never a day without a job. When the time is convenient, I want to get my mind round the management of the credit union finances. The day-by-day inputting, the day-by-day ruminations in front of the PC in that shared office. Something to look forward to.

4 And having you back, safe and sound will be something to look forward to.

Send a concluding message.

Stayathome.

Thursday, 18 September 2008

Foxed and foxed again + allergic to China

1. Well that well and truly foxed me. Your last posting was all in symbols and strange signs and not even Chinese, hence the comment. However when I reverted back from the comment I could read the English. I wonder whether you will see the same thing when you open up.

2. Sorry to hear about the laptop. I wonder if you have left it on for a long time as it tends to overheat and then die. I only switch it on to do the business and then switch off. I certainly will not do the August Accounts on Monday!

3. It seems that finally I am allergic to China. Two days ago I came out in lumps and bumps over the lower part of my legs and arms. Luckily I have some piriton with me, though it makes me feel very sleepy and not with it.

4. We have just flown from Lijiang to Kunming where we will spend the night and then fly out to Beijing tomorrow about 4 p.m. local time. We have an afternoon free without the minder. Hurrah. We are right in the centre so easy to wander about and explore.

5. Jan and I have got on very well. Had similar feelings about things and were quite happy to relax in our own company. Our santuary was reading in the hotel room and have demolished four novels each. Both of us are ready to return and be in familiar surroundings with our own.

6. You seem to be having bad luck with Pells and your teeth. I had to have similar gum treatment a couple of years ago otherwise I would have lost more teeth. We shall see if you go ahead.

7. Yesterday we had a final visit in Zhongdien to a Buddist Temple where 2,000 llamas (not the animals) reside. All ages from 6 upwards. Dark Tibetan temples with much money left on various statues and the like. Not quite sure what they do with all that money, but I know they bought 10 tons of gold to refurbish the temple last year. What about the poor I asked?

8. The face of communism. On our long journey back we had to stop at a manual car wash because our driver was not a local of Lijiang and should the police spot an out of county car or mini-bus the driver would be fined. 60% of the fine goes to the government and the rest to the local police force. I wondered why he bothered as we still had 100k to go along dusty roads.

9. Lijiang is the first really touristy place we have visited. The old town has been refurbished and each little house is either a restaurant, bar or shop. Most of the merchandise is very samey.

10. News from Brackley is scant. The Occupational Therapy visit went well and

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

1 Where, I wonder, are you both? You'll read this message on 18 September, that is, if you have access to an internet cafe; you are scheduled to arrive at Gatwick at 1935 on 20 September. So I suppose that you are about to leave for the return journey to Peking (or you may have made that journey). I'll send a short text.

2 Rats. I telephoned Pells, heard that it would be open to 1730, and that there was no-one in the pool. (Hmm, I thought. There must be a reason.) As I expected today to be the last day, I resolved to drive there. And so I did. I had to divert from Danehill to Nutley for petrol. Even so, I reached the locked gate at 1700 or a minute or two after.

2.1 A conversation through the bars. He wanted to get home. The pool will be open on Friday from 0930, on Saturday and on Sunday from 1300 to 1730. Sunday, I gathered, will be the closing day.

3 Rats, again. I switched on your laptop during the afternoon, looked at the Form 4 for August 2008, and thought 'Ah'. Yes, that's what I thought: 'Ah'. I opened an Excel document on my own laptop, having decided that I would create my own reconciliation worksheet. Alas. When I returned from Pells, keen to get going, your laptop would not do what I wanted. It has died on me. So I'll have to take it to the Wolfcats and ask them to resusitate it.

3.1 Meanwhile, if all else fails, then it will be a matter of restoring Conaccess to end-July and re-entering the August data. Monday, I know, is not the day to spend with the EGDCU. So we may have to report that the August accounts will be settled soon after the Board meeting on Tuesday.

4 Rah, Rah. I have made my first entries on the EGDCU website.

5 Time to be coming home, lady.

Stayathome.
1 Have swimmed. Have done so more slowly than, I sense, I have been accustomed to. Or perhaps I have been swimming at this (slow, slower) speed but just haven't been aware of the speed. And my teeth. And I've turned on the heating. Perhaps it's time for you to return so that you may assure me that I am much as you left me.

1.1 Meanwhile, the water became silky to the skin. A pleasant swim. Of course, I should concentrate upon the pleasure and not upon the lithe, speedy swimmers in the neighbouring lanes. Of course. And I turned on the heating so that the house would be warm for a GDWG meeting tomorrow morning. A warm house may facilitate the emergence of a new co-ordinator.

2 Am about to take your laptop to the Lighthouse. I will also take a calculator. And a pad. I expect to be there for some hours.

3 However, the day is warming, is brightening. Later today, I will telephone Pells. It may be that there will be an opportunity for the end-of-season two lengths.

4 I put some clothes in your washing-machine on the way back from CP. No car in the garage. I take it that your younger daughter has possession.

5 An obituary in The Times of the Dalai Lama's elder brother. I'll keep it for you: an account of a life which was directed against the Chinese occupation. Indeed, he favoured guerilla warfare (whilst his brother has steadily avowed a non-violent resistance).

Stayathome

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

1 Ah, the news. Not the news from Shangri-La and other such places, including the places where yaks are milked, but the news from Northamptonshire I wonder how your folks are getting on.

2 And the news from Wiltshire and from East Sussex. I've just had a long chat with Giles. All is well, all, that is, save the installation of the new Sky all-in-one package and the replacement of the MP3 player which he had recently bought and which has even more recently been damaged.

2.1 He wondered when there could be a visit from East Grinstead. They are keen to see you; they are keen that you should see young Sam. I explained that a visit on Sunday was unlikely. Indeed, it does look as if the next visit will be after Giles's deployment. Perhaps the weekend after next, allowing for the claims of Northamptonshire.

2.2 Brian Wright, too, would like to see you.

3 I've also spoken to Ashley and heard that his previous employers will offer him a post, the salary to be no less than the one he is presently receiving. An unusual sequence of events, I reckon. For my part, by the way, I regret his leaving his present employers as, by his account, they are friendly and they think highly of him.

4 Otherwise, the day is coming to a peaceful close. The sky has remained overcast. The evening is chilly. Being a man, men being what they are, I have put on a sweater (rather than turn on the heating). I am about to take to bed for an hour. (Somehow I sense that I will not read for an hour.) There might just be time for a short conversation with my sister.

4.1 I cooked potatoes and vegetables this evening. Pots, implements - that sort of thing. And the paraphenalia have been washed.

Do give my regards to Jan. I think of her. Let me know how she's getting on.

Stayathome.




1 Well, the first tutorial has been accomplished. Andrea has left with the intention of creating a blog (with her daughter's help). When she comes, next Tuesday, I shall ask her about her blog.

1.1 I have sought to explain the taxonomy of messaging: short-text messages, e-mails, and blogs. The blogs, I explained, are for the more reflective, the enduring compositions.

2 I was treated this morning by a dentist whom I had not seen before. You may remember that I reported the loss of two fillings. As I have not been discomforted, I was at ease when I entered the room. The dentist put on a mask and and eye-protector; she also put and eye-protector on me. I left the chair with two new fillings, including a filling behind one of my front teeth, the one which was broken by a cricket ball some 50 years ago.

2.1 I was also given the news that 'many of [my] teeth' will not outlast me. There's 'a gum problem'. The problem, I was told, can be addressed by a life-long commitment to a programme of gum maintenance. In the meantime, I am to return in two week's time for a further filling. At that time I will learn more about the programme, and I may begin it.

2.2 I then observed the division of labour. The dentist entered what I understand to be a description of what she did. (The entry was in dentist-script, you understand.) The dental assistant then took the card and entered what I could readily understand: £100.

3 My plan did not survive a contact with the dentist. I had intended to go into the Lighthouse, with your laptop, so that I could seek to re-trace what Mike West and June Vincent had done after I left. (Of course, I should have stayed; of course, I should have made it plain that I needed a step-by-step record of what they had done.) However, the thick lip slowed me. I have waited until I can have an egg and a cup of tea. I will then be ready to continue with the affairs both of the credit union and of the local division of SSAFA, the well-known, or not so well-known, military charity.

3.1 However, I must go into the Lighthouse sometime today. I'll need to read and view myself into the task. According to June, I had set up the as instead of . They had been unable to undo that error. So the Form 4 remains to be completed. I hope that I can retrace the steps. Your composition will be my guide.

4 I also sought to explain Shangri-la to Andrea. Now you had just added to your distinction from the rest of the population of the town. In all probability, you will find that no-one else has been there. You have. You have been to Shangri-la. Record your senses, your emotions. Maybe there is something in the place which will take you towards Nirvana; alternatively, perhaps you will remember the place because you took apple pie there, or close to there, together with a cappuchino.

4.1 Of course, there is the possibility that you have been admitted to Nirvana. After yak's milk and suchlike, after further exercises at high altitude, after being exposed again to the feeling that it was time to return to East Grinstead, you were given the apple pie and the cappuchino. As you enjoyed the foods, you were in the highest state of feeling, the altitude aside. You were in Bliss-land, you were in a place, a condition, from whence unease had been banished. Whilst you may already have left, you will be left with the recollection that you were there. The Shangri-la of the imagination. The private bower.

4.2 However, before I leave the topic, I can imagine that you have been taken to a place called Shangri-la. After all, I remember the Flanagan and Allen song which included the lines 'Underneath the arches, down Paradise Way .... . And there's many a house, no doubt, which are called Shangri-la (or Dunroaming). Perhaps the Chinese (central or regional) government has given the name to a likely place, somwhere in the south-west, somewhere close to Tibet, somewhere close to the fabled valley.

5 The day is dry, still, and overcast. It could be a day for Lewes. However, I think that I will postpone the concluding visit to Pells for a further day. I will take my (last) chance on tomorrow. If the pool opens tomorrow, then I will have to go. A chap will have to do what a chap has to do.

5.1 There's a Chums' lunch on Thursday. There will also be a game of bridge. The Excel frame awaits the direct entry of the scores. No news from Alan Lloyd.

Send new news to the

Stayathome.


Civilisation Found

1. I noticed that it only saved a little bit. What we found is what we know. We sat in the sunshine outside on wicker chairs, the first time during the last two and a half weeks.

2. Sorry to hear about Sheila Lloyd - what is the trouble.

3. Give my best wishes to Brian Wright when you see or speak to him.

4. All the people here are Tibetan and speak Tibetan. Very few Han people live here. They live in Tibetan houses. Each group has their own distinctive style of house, it identifies the group.

5. I think we must be more than 12000 feet as we are 4.500 metres up. One walks a little more slowly and is conscious of a slight headache.

6. The little chap has a name - Isaac Benjamin. Isaac one who laughs. He will be a happy lad with a bit of luck.

7. Are you intending to pick me up from the airport?

8. Have to curtail this now, shame about the lengthy one lost.

Leave form 4 if it is too much trouble I will complete on my return.

Have we got the lost or the found sign up today. Looking forward to coming home.

Noddled out

Civilisation found

1. We have been allowed to wander throughout the afternoon and we discovered civilisation. Apple pie and chocolate together with a cappuccino

Monday, 15 September 2008

1 Traveller, you are transformed. You are living at an altitude two-and-a-half times the height of Ben Nevis. You have taken a meal, at that altitude, with a Tibetan family. You have eaten what they have eaten. You have extended the content of your direct experience beyond that of anyone I know, certainly anyone, without a doubt, here in the Close, probably beyond anyone in Lowdells Lane, perhaps anyone in East Grinstead.

1.1 There could be an article for the local newspaper. You're taking photographs? Of course.

2 I registered what you said about the family's support for the inclusion of Tibet within China, within a Chinese sphere of influence. As I read (and as I key) I wonder if I have ever asked 'What do we know about the preferences of the people who live in what we know as Tibet?'. To what extent are the expressions of feeling in Katmandu representative of the feelings of the other people who live in the country?

3 From your account, the family were welcoming. They shared their food. The people came in from the fields. I wonder what they found interesting about you. (Perhaps the answer is 'Everything'.) I wonder what they wanted to know. They had a considerable impact on you. I wonder about your impact on them. You hadn't taken a Tibetan meal before; I wonder if they had served one to previous travellers from beyond the mountains. Gifts: did you leave one; did they give you one. (No, not another glass of yak's milk.)

3.1 As I key, I remember that account I heard of the nomadic peoples in southern Ethiopia. Four million of them, I heard. I wonder who had counted them. Now those peoples, I heard, whilst sticking to their nomadic ways, use their radios and mobile telephones to check their position and to help them to find the likely watering-places.

4 Twelve thousand feet, 3700 metres - a considerable height. I can imagine that it slows a person who is not used to the height. It slows the ascent, and it slows the movement once the ascent has been completed. I wonder now about the day-time and the night-time temperatures.

5 Here, on the third successive rain-free day, the sun is concealed again. The clouds have returned. Pells has been open since 1500, and it will remain open until 1800. It will also be open between these times tomorrow and Wednesday, weather permitting. I was thinking of going, but it may be sensible to complete some jobs here. I have earmarked tomorrow for Form 4. Fingers crossed for Wednesday.

6 Form 4. I will take your laptop, and I will seek to construct a Form 4. However, I will need to know what has been entered. I sense that I will be occupied tomorrow, after a visit to the dentist.

6.1 I also intend to visit Brian Wright, who is poorly. I visited him on Friday when he reported that he was declining. He is in touch with the hospice. He reported today that he remains poorly.

6.2 Sheila Lloyd was discharged from hospital last Friday. Alan gave the news that she had been re-admitted yesterday. We wait.

7 Mick Roberts is on his way round.

8 Continue to enjoy the good news. Continue to garner those experiences which will add to the content of the adventure, which will mark you out from those who have stayed at home.

One of those

Into the inner sanctum

1. A return from a Tibetan family meal would you believe. Our driver has invited us to his house to share a meal with his family. His wife has prepared slices of pork fat, pig's ears, chicken with their feet still on, and phew some courgettes, sliced celery, mangetout and rice. Various uncles and aunts, who have come in the from fields have joined us. They opened a bottle of sweet local red wine to celebrate the baby's birth and the culmination was a bowl of warm yak's milk. Oh boy I do not like yak's milk. Remember some of our conversations!

2. The day, of course, was a wonderful one hearing about the birth of my third grandson. We were just about to set off for the day when Karstein phoned a mere 30 minutes after the birth and an hour later Kaaren phoned. It was delightful. They ran into problems towards the end and she had to have a caesarian. The doctors thought the baby's life would be in danger if they left it any longer. He has no name yet, they want to look at him thoroughly before deciding.
He weighed 9lbs 15oz and was 23 inches long. A big lad already.

3. We are now 12,000 up on the plateau with the Yaks and the Tibetan people. Those we spoke to said they did not want to be independent of China. Why should they when the Government give them so many advantages over the Han people. According to them it is just a minority who follow the Dali Llama.

4. The Leaping Tiger Gorge was magnificent. The noise of the water pounding over the rocks, the Yangste flowing towards the China Sea. As I mentioned the descent was 397 steps and the ascent was 397 and at altitude.

5. The distances here are great and we spend much time in the van or mini bus, which gets a little tedious at times. We are now only 100 miles from the actual Tibetan border.

6. So today has erased the awfulness of yesterday and we are moving slowly on to our final destination home for a wonderful cheese sandwich!! and of course all the other lovely comforts.

Here's to the full moon and a good life Roman Soldier.

The weary traveller

Sunday, 14 September 2008

1 News from a different world. A second day of late summer, early autumn sunshine. Up early, on with the jobs. Ironing, a couple of letters. Still looking for my railcard, the one I couldn't find yesterday, the one which is still missing (even as I key). At the railway station, in cycling kit, with bicycling, in time to catch the train to Hurst Green. My first outing with the club since the tour. Three months.

2 Just five others, including three Chadwicks, as we cycled from Hurst Green to Morrisons, the re-fuelling stop for the three who had cycled from Forest Row. (I did think of cycling to Hurst Green, but I decided not to.) Off westwards towards Lullingstone. I remained with them for about half an hour. Then I turned down Westerham Hill, the hill, remember, which I am to tackle. A pause in Westerham. People sitting on the green in the sun. Passing cyclists.

3 From Westerham I followed the uphill road through the North Downs. A pleasant ride, a ride to my own rhythms. The sun shafted through the trees. The day was warm. I climbed the hill, rode through the undulations, and then I enjoyed the downhill ride to Crockham and onwards to the outskirts of Edenbridge. A diversion through the country to Haxted, to Lingfield, and back to EG by way of Baldwin's Hill.

3.1 I was reminded of the pleasures of solitary cycling. The day was warm, the tyres were fully inflated. All that had to be done was pedal. The pace was mine. Indeed, I was indifferent to pace, an indifference which is not possible when one is cycling with others. Remember, the woman who was swimming in the water at Courseilles? Of course, you do. Well, I remembered her as I cycled. She and I were one.

4 To Worth for a Passion Play rehearsal. About 45 adults attended, some 15 men and 30 women. It could be interesting. The director, a woman, has produced a Passion Play in Lewes. I reckon she knows what she's doing. There's room for everyone. There's a strong chance I will be a Roman soldier. If Liam wants to be Pilate then he will have to turn up. (Liam will attend a rehearsal for a Passion Play?) Mass at the Friary. Home. The possibility of a swim at CP passed with being realised. I'll just have to get up in the morning.

5 Meanwhile, do not adjust your mind. There's a fault in the surrounding reality. Just believe that there is a plan, that the plan will return you to Peking, to an aircraft which will be flying westwards towards the UK.

6 People ask about you. I say that you are 'somewhere in China, that you will be home at the end of the week'. I go on to say that you will have stories to tell.

6.1 Giles and Helen send their good wishes. So do Jo and Roy.

7 Tomorrow will be a SSAFA and a credit union day. If the sun continues to shine, I will telephone Pells Pool. If it will be open, then I will take my early autumn swim.

Keep sending the news. Hold on to the rails.

Stayathome (who is looking forward to an evening of chat).


I do not like green eggs and ham, Don, I am

1. I do not know where we are. The route has been altered and I do not know where I am, and I do not like it, Don I am. Where am I, Don, where. The hotel is strange and the town is strange. I do not know what is here.

2. Another journey in the van. We stopped in one village and was invited into a local house by a farmer. A chance meeting. We sat in his Courtyard. He made us tea and his wife picked a pomegranite for us. He grows rice, broadbeans and garlic and has three mos. 1 hectare is 15 mos. The Government support farmers now and his gets 30 yuan for each mo. He has to pay 20 mo per annum for water and irrigation. He earns about 1000 to 1500 pounds per annum. His daughter's husband who works in a milk powder factory earns 100 pounds and gets accommodation and food thrown in. They own a pig, a cow and chickens. All supplement the income from the crops. They were very hospitable.

3. In an extremely smelly internet cafe at the moment. The hotel does not have one. I wonder how we shall spend the evening and what on earth we shall eat here.

4. Good to hear about Jo and Roy and the new house. A hog roast how posh.

5. Let me know how the bike ride went and the rehearsal. Are you aiming for a star part or something? A monk or Jesus?

6. The moon festival is being celebrated at the moment. Quite an auspicious festival in the calendar over here. They all buy moon cakes, though do not look particularly appetising.

7. Got to get out of this place
Good morning (English time)

1 There's time to post a paragraph or two before I leave for the train to Hurst Green, there to join FRBC bikers (who will have cycled to the rendezvous). The sun is on the way up, the day is light, there are scarcely any clouds. However, whilst I will cycle for a while with the bikers, I will have to leave them if I am to cycle back to East Grinstead in time to buy some stuff in Sainsbury's - you probably remember Sainsbury's; of course you do - and be in time for the rehearsal at 3 30 at Worth School.

2 My washing machine is still out of action. It may be dead. I called in to Top of the Town, and I'm still ruminating about £50 call-out charge. A visit just to see what parts are required, you understand. Still, your machine works; I guess I could clean Doug's surplus one and set that to work. The challenge will be moving my one to Siberia. A two-, perhaps a three-person job. And then what?

3 It visited Roy and Jo in their new house yesterday. They have bought an old house in Southwick village, to the west of Brighton and Hove. A village atmosphere. A big, roomy house with different levels on the ground floor and little rooms here and there. A garden which qualifies as A Secret Garden. The whole thing is just a wonder. A life-long - or ten-or-more-years - project. They, the place, has to be visited. Joe has a Trek bike so there will be scope for bicycling. Though both work.

3.1 And there was a hog-roast. The first time I have seen a (dead) hog being roasted on a spit. On arrival, I prompted to take a bread roll which was filled with roasted hog-flesh. It was a meal in itself.

More later on

Saturday, 13 September 2008

To bike or not to bike that is the question

1. Never, never has there been such a tortuous prelude to a bike ride. The trick cyclist (nickname for the man in the tuc tuc who carried our three bikes) followed behind our mini bus and we lost sight of him in the traffic. Firstly our driver drove into much oncoming traffic and no-one stopped to let him turn round; they weaved around him. I could not look. Subsequently we drove for at least 30 minutes through a road construction site, bouncing and bumping all the way with throats constricting with dust. We lost the trick cyclist and eventually found him again and unloaded the bikes.

2. Off we went by 11.30, hot sun, saddle too low and at altitude of 6000 feet. Different kind of cycling. I am uncertain how many kilometres we cycled but we did not reach the planned destination as Jan nearly blacked out on two occasions. She could not manage the slightest hill, probably due to the altitude and heat. Our rescuers found us and loaded us into the vehicles and we drove to a cooling lunch.

3. Good to hear your news about the comings and goings at Nightingale Hall and around. Good news too about Ashley's increase. Perhaps Dawn will be a little more relaxed when she has given herself time.

4. Still no baby, though we send each other a text every day. She will be induced next Friday if nothing happens. We do hope that the little chap will come before then as we shall be travelling home. By the way I take it that all was in order at Haulcon.

5. The minority group, the bi people, have wonderful decorations on their houses. The white washed exteriors are bordered in black then all sort of flowers and designs are painted within the borders.

6. In Dali we are living in the lap of luxury. The hotel has a swimming pool so we made the effort to swim at 7 this morning. A touch cold but bliss. Something I have missed on this trip.

7.The quote I gave you on travel from Daniel was not exactly correct. 'Many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased' and 'Travel has the practical merit of placing one's locale and its inhabitants in an informatively fresh light'

8. I am probably ready to come home.

9. On the move again tomorrow, up to the Tibetian village.

Friday, 12 September 2008

1 Thanks for the news. The eight-hour train journey will be remembered. Within the general recollection will be the particular recollection of the officious officials. I imagine that the officiousness was not so regarded by the rest of the passengers. That's what officials do; that's what they're for.

2.1 Doug was here earlier today. He is scheduled to start his OU course at the beginning of October. So where, we wondered, will he find the ten or so hours of study-time. And where will be study? A question. Young Doug, remember, watches television, and, according to Doug, his girl-friend seems to live in the house. Two of them watching television. Duncan too visits. Three of them. So I urged him to lay down a rule: on two evenings a week, the house will be closed to anyone other than himself.

2.2 And Ashley has been around. A welcome visit. We chatted amiably. His job? He has been given a rise by his present employers. He has had conversations with his previous employer, and he expects an offer. Meanwhile, on Monday Dawn will give notice of termination to her employer, the first step towards taking six months off. Time to spend at home, time to catch up with herself.

3 Unwise it was to begin this post. I am tired. I must postpone until tomorrow, when I shall continue. Continuation time. So let me turn to the preparation of the Form 4. There were three of us: Mike, June, and me. I was at fault: having entered the collections, the bank inpayments, and so on, I should have prepared a Form 4 on your laptop. I didn't. In fact, I left the other two. On Monday I will go over what was done. I hope I will be able to make any necessary corrections. Otherwise, the exercise was all to the good. June, in particular, is good to work with. She is the person, I reckon, who could become the back-up to you.

4 And today - Saturday - the sun shines. It could be a warm day. There are jobs to complete in East Grinstead. Here, I must complete the bridge scores. And Roy and Jo are running a hog-roast as a house-warming. They have moved to a house elsewhere in Hove. I will visit during the late afternoon, having left the car in Three Bridges. And tomorrow? There might even be a bike-ride. (And I want to attend the rehearsal for the Worth Passion. )

Good fortune to you both.

Well done.


Stayathome.

The train, oh the train

1. Hum, hum they said they wanted to try the train and try the train they did. Nine hours later they arrived at their destination. Nine hours, they were told it was four. Nine hours of constant hooting and long, long tunnels, through the mountains, through the valleys. The first class, of course. First class not as we know it, but hard bench seats with hard backs and two bunks above.

2. The officials were assigned one to each carriage and officious officials they were. No suitcases on the bunks. Their duties comprised bringing hot water to those who wished to replenish their teas or start on their pot noodles; sweeping the floor every 30 minutes and mopping every hour. As we passed through stations, officials on the platforms saluted as the train went by. Chinese music was being played and much chatting went on. We, of course, could not understand a word of it.

3. Eventually the destination was reached and to our amusement all the officials had to line up outstide the station and have their standard bags and themselves checked by no. 1 official.

4. I spoke to our minder on the way who told me that 40 million people died of starvation during the great leap forward. His own father decided to join the army as he was assured of food and a place to live.

5. Grayling wrote about travel and his first quote was from Daniel. 'People rushing to and fro, knowledge is acquired' There were other parts which entertained and enlightened but the book is upstairs.

6. With a bit of luck, we may be able to bike tomorrow, round a huge lake.

Got to go they are shutting up the shop. No baby yet.
Chere voyageuse

1 Liam has just left. He and i have been talking since 1030: a couple of hours of scoring and then of talking about this and that. We did touch on China (which we both sense is somewhere beyond the mountains - remember Papageno - but as China is as big as Europe to know that you are in China is to know that you are somewhere between here and Warsaw.

2 Seven tables in the Maypole bridge club, as many as there were last week. Seven tables, 28 people. Two nice young men came top of the North/South. They had a little help from some of the pairs they met.

3 It's bed-time. I'll take up the story tomorrow.

4 In the meantime, continue to look out for the yaks. And for an internet cafe. And it may be as well to look out for your minder. You may need him.

5 Continue to record what you see: the people, the costumes, the activities.

And be sure to brush your teeth before you go to bed.

Stayathome.


Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Chere voyageuse

1 Well, I can only wonder where you will be, and what you will have eaten for breakfast, when you read this post. You have gone far, far from East Grinstead. (You probably recall East Grinstead, the little town in Sussex - Sussex, dear; you know, Sussex - where you used to live. Bridge, bicycling, opera - you remember? Of course you do. Just take it easy for a while. It'll all come back.)

2 The day has been a long one. I mentioned in my comment on your post that it began with a first step towards the construction of a forecast of income and expenditure for 2009. Credit union. Well, that exercise had been preceded by a swim, at 0730. And by the collection of the washing from your washing machine. (Mine still languishes.) Tomorrow, I will put that washing on the clothes-horse and collect the second set from your machine.

3 Bah. Banalities. The concluding event of the day - this posting aside - was an illuminating hour with the Website Man, Dave Brook. I am now on the verge of editing the credit union website. Hold on to your hat, or to handbag, or to whatever may be at risk of flying away when you hear that there is the possibility that I will have edited the website - that is, put up fresh material - by the end of Monday. (I need a day to dedicate to the site and to the software which lies behind it.)

Enough, enough. It's time for refreshment. Time for bed and for a few pages about The Reformation.

(Continue to) be brave.

Stayathome.

Back in Time

1. The time machine has taken us back an hundred years or so to unmade roads and primitive living. The town Yuanyang has two minority tribes populating it. The Yi tribe who wear colourful embroidered costumes during their daily life and the Hani tribe who wear black and a blue headscarf. The women wear the costomes and the men wear ordinary clothes and the women do the hard work.

2. We had an amusing incident today when we came across two women taking a break from carrying their heavy load of sticks. We asked if we could try to lift them onto our backs. We put the band round our heads and tried. However try as we may we could not begin to shift the load from its resting place. It weighed about 40 kilos. The pair of us even tried and we could not manage. The girls were laughing their heads off.

3. We see women at the road side crushing rocks into tiny pieces, herding the cows carrying large baskets of produce, and carrying vegetables for sale at the market. The men drive the mini buses or work in the big towns. They do help gather in the rice harvest.

4. The rice terraces are a wonder to look at. The crafting of the terraces on the hillside and the colour ever changing depending on the position of the sun. Apparently it is a photographer's heaven. It has been likened to one of the wonders of the world. Sadly my pictures will not reflect the true beauty of the terraces.

5. We visited a school this morning. However the teacher's had an inset day, so no children. The desks were all in rows with hard benches beneath and the blackboard was at the front of the class. All China follow the same structure and same materials. No small groups here, no workshops, no self exploration. The walls were bare and the teacher seem to have very little material to work with. The maths for 7 year olds consisted of work-books and blackboard work. One teacher explained that some of the farming children cannot grasp the concepts, but teachers are not allowed to deviate from the structured timetable.

6. The hotel's idea of an English breakfast is a few bits of sponge cake with some jam and congealed fried eggs. Even that would not tempt me to go native and take the noodles etc.

7. Back to Kunming tomorrow and off to Dali by train. Not sure when the next opportunity for posting will be. I sense that it is more back of beyond.

Going native

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

In with the locals

1. Here we are back in the internet cafe before embarking on another journey into the hinterland. Up in the mountains I understand. A further wilderness and stranger terrain. Not a Western face was in view yesterday, save ours. Mostly people went on with their daily business and did not give us a second glance unless we happened to be in their path.

2. A visit to the hospital was illuminating. Half the building was open to the elements with bikes and motorcyles parked in the corridors. The patients lying on beds were on view to any passer by. One could see into the doctor's consulting rooms, usually three or four people accompanied the patient. One thing China is not short of is people. You know the joke, of course, how many people does it take ..... well that certainly is applicable here. Ten people discuss one tiny thing.

3. This morning, Chinese was broadcast over the loudspeakers. When I asked I was told it was the communist party conference, which has to be spread throughout China. Our minder said that they believed they had to spread sunshine everywhere.

4. People draw water from a large well here, which we witnessed. Fish swim in the water. So long as the fish are alive then the water is fresh!!! Apparently this water is sweet. I did not feel inclined to taste it.

5. The village was alive with everyday activities. We watched the farmers bring in the rice harvest. They lay the stalks on the ground then drive over them with their lorry. This separated the grain from the stalks. The grain is then left on the ground to dry and the stalks are made into small haystacks. The farmer is obliged to sell a proportion of his crop to the Government. The portion depends on the size of the family. He gets very little money for this. The rest he can sell at profit. It seems that anything that lives is eaten.

6. We happened upon the Doyenne of the village, dressed rather glamourously for the conditions. Her family used to live in the big house in the village and were the chiefs until the Communists threw them out. She said she hated the communists. They gave her a small dwelling in the village. Part of the property is a museum now including the Chinese Opera stage, which every grand house used to have.

7. Another women had builders working on her house, some 20 for whom she was cooking supper in a huge pot. Looked like bits of pigs' ears and tails. Um was not tempted to join them.

8. Still no baby and she is getting rather bored. I get the impression she has got through all her books.

9. I noted your comments about the Credit Union and the tensions between SSAFA and the CU. In order to accomplish each properly one needs more time. I noted also the email from Sue Joy about another person willing to join the CU. Perhaps you will be able to relinguish some of the duties. This week is the time for the month end!!!!

10. I seem to recollect that you are visiting the little family today. Give them my love and send me a woman's type report back, not an etherial one.

Take care

Monday, 8 September 2008

Chere voyageuse

1 Many thanks for the use of the washing-machine. I haven't taken up the offer yet; however, I will do. And I will also seek to find someone who can fix my machine. Or else I shall have to enter a market from which I have been absent for years.

2 It's time for bed after a long day. SSAFA, of course. And a conclusion with Marketing & Administration. There is too much for a chair and a divisional secretary to do. The observation remains: either one, on its own, would be fine. Both together are too much. The credit union gets the smaller part of me as a delay in SSAFA work has immediate consequences.

3 Otherwise, thanks for an illuminating message. Compared with East Grinstead, Peking was oriental and exotic. Compared with your present experiences it seems that Peking was East Grinstead. And there may be yet more exotic places and experiences beyond. You seem to have left the manicured garden and entered the wilderness beyond which there may be yet another one. And beyond? There's time, there's time.

Main à la main.

Stayathome

A stranger land as we travel south

1. First and foremost something on a practical level. Please go ahead and use my washing machine You have the keys and everything is there. Do not get involved in the intricacies of the laundrette.

2. A big first, an internet cafe. I have never seen the like before. 200 screens in banks of 11. They play and key all night according to our minder. The room is vast and dark. In the relative earliness of the morning, the place is quiet with just a few people. The place smells of cigarettes and ashtrays which have not been cleaned.

3. Fortunately I was able to obtain a Chinese sim card and I have been in touch with Kaaren every day. She usually sends a text and I reply and every so often we have a chat. The baby is getting bigger and heavier but as yet has no inclination to emerge.

4. The comments about James in the unity room were lost on me and perhaps I have forgotten what the talk was about being so far removed from anything European. We are certainly in the back of beyond now and travelling further into the depth of Eastern ways.

5. A Chinese joke we were told. The chinese eat anything that flies except planes and eats anything with four legs except a table. That was certainly true when I experienced locals eating locusts and donkey at a barbecue yesterday. We are definitely among local life which we requested, but I am mostly sticking to vegetables. No more Tofou, no more tofou. Breakfast was the wierdest today.

6. I had no idea this was such a large tobacco growing area. We visited a Mongolian village yesterday where women in their late 70s were threading the tobacco leaves onto poles, and another was hammering rocky earth to break down the particles. They were not keen on having their photos taken. The people smoke everywhere at tables and all over.

7. Most towns have been recently built and generally modern, though perhaps not modern conveniences. The shops and markets are interesting. The stuff they sell is amazing.

8. Keep in touch and send a text now and again. We are looking forward to getting on some bikes but no opportunity yet.

The oriental

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Chere voyageuse

1 Thailand is in the news. I wondered what news you had had from your lovely daughter. I wonder if you are able to say 'We are a grandmother'. Your lovely daughter will be concentrating on the birth. In the streets of Bangkok, more particularly in the grounds of Government House, the protesters are seeking the overthrow of the recently-elected government. The Economist tells me that the government contain bad guys; yet the government was formed as the result of an election. The challenge is to uphold the process. I wonder if you have heard anything of the events in the city and the country.

2 Glory be. There was scarcely any rain today. I did look out when I got up as there was the possibility of a bike-ride. But the laden sky suggested that though there was no rain falling it would be unwise to assume that no rain would fall later on. I tackled some jobs. I collected my kit. Soon after 1030 I began my training session. Glory be. I completed: the biking exercise, the full - 5k - run, and the trundling. The first completion for six months or more. No aches. No pains. I washed down with a short swim. A pot of tea, a round of toast, and a chat with James Baldwin concluded my time at CH.

3 Alas, alas. Bill revealed the defect in the washing-machine; he could not repair it. I shall report to Top of the Town tomorrow. And to the laundrette. I can't remember the last time I used one. For as long as I can remember, I have been accustomed to putting to-be-washed clothes in a basket. Laundrette - que? Still, there is likely to be a friendly person who will put me right.

4 A visit to the Burma campaign veteran in Crawley hospital. Reception was closed. I couldn't remember the ward. Eventually, I found a ward - sounds odd, but that was my feeling - asked a member of staff and was directed to the man. A friendly nursing assistant made me a cup of tea. Before leaving the ward, I said Hello to the three men on the other side. A timeless place. Still, a better place, I reckon, that the Gables nursing home, where another elderly man is starving.

5 The first week has been accomplished. Let me know what you've learned about travelling in China.

Into the second week .....


Stayathome
Chere voyageuse

1 I have no doubt. Eastbourne it is not. Even Brighton it is not. Indeed, as the thoughts begin to come to mind I sense an affinity with what people understood went on in dim places in Limehouse. Confessions of an opium-eater, that sort of thing. Watson would take a revolver, and a police whistle.

1.1 We are accustomed to eating the flesh (and other parts) of some animals but not of others. We recoil from the prospect of eating some other animals. Eating dogs. Uggh. There has been a correspondence in The Times about the eating of squirrels. I can imagine that I would approach the task slowly, carefully. It is not just the taste of the cooked flesh; no, it is more the image of the animal. Yet we do tuck in to dead cows and to dead lambs. Eating lambs? Uggh.

2 And those who mind us. They mind us and they constrain us. They guide and protect us; they bar us from what we would see. I can imagine that the minder has signed for you both, as it were. He is responsible for your welfare, that welfare being extended to ensure that you see what is proper, however understood, for you to see. Whose tour is it? Indeed.

3 You have been away for a week; there are two weeks remaining. I take it that you are lost somewhere in China. (Well, I know that you are lost within reach of a keyboard now and then.) The world is China? Indeed, the world may be that part of China which you presently inhabit. Beyond the locality lies the rest of the region, beyond the region lies Peking and the rest of China. And beyond China, so you must tell yourself, the rest of the world. Horizons, perspectives.

3.1 How will we keep you down on the farm now that you have seen the dog market. The variety of the human experience, the human condition. The comparisons with the faraway places which you have seen in the past two or three years. I wonder, as I key, how you will be able to bring your experience to bear on the running of the East Grinstead and District Credit Union. As you listen to a discussion about the dividend which is to be paid to junior savers perhaps you will think of the dog-market and of the Great Wall.

4 Here, at the bottom of the Close in East Grinstead, I have just circulated the scores for the opening session of the 2008/09 season at the Maypole Bridge Club. Seven tables; 28 players. A long way from the nearest part of China; an even longer way from the part beyond the nearest boundary where you are exploring, in the tradition of those robust women who have gone to such places before you. And who have kept journals.

5 It's time for fresh tea, for a spot of training (as it is dull and overcast, and as the bulk of the bikers are likely to have gone to London to watch the opening of the Tour of Britain).

6 A wide circle of people in the Unity Room at Worth. James, in a long, long introduction, was recalling his primary interest at the age of 17 years. Pulling birds. In the interstice between the end of one sentence and the beginning of another came a voice 'What's new'. Spot on. A shaft. A moment of truth. Loud laughter. Speaker seeks to recover his scattered thoughts.

Great stuff, lady.


Stayathome

Onwards ever onwards

1. Oh where is the time to reflect and blog the experiences. The computers are hard to find - they open at nine and close at five. Our schedules do not allow. We have to negotiate other times with our minder. He stands and thinks and looks at his fruit machine and calculates. Whose tour is this?

2. An assault on our senses at the market yesterday. They were selling dogs. Initially it was not clear whether these were for cooking. They came in all shapes and sizes and containers, along with the bird, fish, turtle market. Beetle fighting was going on round the corner with sinister looking men who were not at all keen at our interest. Gun alley showed pictures of guns. If you wished to buy you accompanied the chap to his house. When the police arrived the men were not to be seen.

3. We met a wandering monk at the temple. He wanders from temple to temple. He taught us 'amti tofou' If in danger we must say these words. They were used pretty soon after that when the driver was going round the corner of a one way street the wrong way with a lorry bearing down towards us.

4. The minder waits

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Moving like a camel

1. The movement is constant and the sleep is short. We dream of moving through the desert like a camel. Up and down, up and down.

2. We are devising plans on how to give our minder the slip. As the days go by we shall become more obsessive about it, I am sure.

3. Squatting is becoming practiced, but not enjoyed and there is a refusal to put the tissue in the basket.

4. Our minder waits, more tonight I hope.

Nomad

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Chere voyageuse

1 Evening. Darkness. The quiet of the conservatory. One or two little jobs on the laptop. The Times. Anotole Kaletsky has just explained why the British economy is doing better than the Government, the newspapers, and others say it is doing. A few words to China. Then to bed with a book.

2 Years ago Walter Lippman was a well-respected commentator on public affairs in the USA. He had access to presidents and all others. As a old man, he was asked by a group of post-graduate students at a seminar what he feared most (in the realm of international relations). He replied 'The awakening of China'.

3 I can imagine that, from a Chinese point of view, the dominating feature of the relationship between China (the government of China, the phrase being subject to all the qualifications you can think of) and the Western world has been one of Chinese inferiority, Western superiority. One of the qualifications must be the the special case of Japan, a country which, since the formal invasion of China in 1930, has sought territorial conquest in China. Japan and China were at war from that date to 1945.

3.1 The US government sought to sustain the Nationalist (Koumingtang) government in its war both against Japan and against the Communist opposition. (The Long March) As you know, the Communist armies were victorious by 1947, and the remnants of the Nationalist armies fled to Taiwan (Formosa). The loss of China, as right-wing commentators and politicians in the USA viewed the outcome, was seen as a signal defeat for Western interests worldwide.

4 Continue to recall the Three Emperors. It is a point of connexion between us. We both have a recollection of the scale of China, of the bureaucracy, of the power of the central government (the emperor, in whatever guise), of the reach of the central government. Keep those ideas in mind as you look about you and seek to make sense of what you see.

5 Meanwhile, be assured: the Maypole bridge club continues.

6 So does the rain. I am inclined to cycle to Westerham and to cycle north of the town. However, a northward cycle-ride will be a determined effort to cycle up Westerham hill. The hill is just two-lanes wide, and there are bends. A scarcely-moving cyclist could accumulate ten cars behind, perhaps 15, or even 20. But Determined Cyclist, eyes not to the front but down to the front wheel, will be uncaring. (However, there is no verge, so when the effort, however determined, is insufficient for the task, there will be nothing to moderate DC's fall either against the trees or into the road.

6.1 Ah, ever ready to learn, DC will take an umbrella. Imagine the effect of a following wind upon DC's progress.

7 I am also inclined towards a closing swim in Pells. But I am running out of days.

8 Write more about the Great Wall.

Le pantoufland
(aka stay-at-home)

Chere voyageuse

1 What a fine story you tell. Of course, I admire proficiency with chopsticks and the speed with which you (evidently) became proficient. Perhaps there will be risotto with chopsticks at Haulcon? Or rather your proficiency is an aid to your blending with the local settings. As your sticks twirl so it will be evident that you are both 'old China hands'.

1.1 Yes, the swirl in a city. The local way in which people and vehicles combine. Remember the seeming madness of the combination in an Indian city or, for that matter, in an Ethiopian one. (I recall the railway tracks which, unguarded, pass through villages. Still, I also recall the slow speed of the occasional train.)

1.2 And the question about the cessation of technological development within China; ah, the question. Like you (and like your Chinese companion) I have been conscious of that question, one of the grand, global questions. I'll seek a relevant programme in the In Our Time archive.

1.3 The mean, the middle, the place between the extremes. Yes, the Greeks talked about the Golden Mean (and they were not distinguishing the mean, however golden, from the median or the mode). The balance between the humours. The equilibrium to which men, and women, should aspire.

1.3.1 As I key I think of what we understand as the manners of a person, the extent to which we applaud a mannerly person, being one who is well-spoken, who is well-dressed (that is, whose dress is not exhuberant, whose clothes do not clash). In well-ordered society in the 18th and early 19th centuries there was a disapproval of Enthusiasm. Nowadays, we too look askance at the person, with a wild look in the eyes, who propounds 'extreme' views. Indeed, we can fear the extremist.

1.3.2 We are generally familiar with the merits of taking the balanced view, of keeping a balance in our lives, that sort of thing.

2 The notion that technological development must come from without rather than within echoes the policy in 1920s and 1930s Russia to import technologies from the West whilst seeking to guard the local people from contamination by Western political and social ideas. Remember, when I was teaching in Eastern Europe and elsewhere it was the ideas which were being imported, the ideas and the way of propagating them. I think too of the technological development of Japan in the second half of the 19th century. However, the guards against contamination were in place. (But the pace of technological development was astonishing.)

3 And the Wall. Think more about (everything and) the Wall.

L'homme qui reste à la maison


Peanuts with chopsticks - a cue for a song?

1. A computer at last. How does one survive without? Biting of the nails constantly. However, when faced with Chinese script, a strong inclination to give up emerged. Perserverence and pigeon English enabled me to get an English keyboard.

2. We are so adept at using chopsticks that we surpassed ourselves today eating peanuts. Knives and forks are long forgotten. The food is suspicious and as I mentioned in my text I declined the rape of slippery mushrooms and tough foster mother's cured meat. As for Tofu I dunno about that one.

3. Can you imagine that we considered not visiting Beijing, what folly that would have been. A surprisingly modern city and wide roads and calm traffic. All seems orderly and no litter to be seen. From the neck down clothes are much as we know them, though one or two older ladies wear pyjamas on their bikes. How health and safety conscious we are and what a shock it is to see people riding bikes with umbrellas, no lights and no helmets; babies in the front seats of cars with no restraints and windows open.

4. Our guide and organiser from Yunnan met us in Beijing and reported that there were a thousand earthquakes a day in China - protests about issues, which can be discussed with friends but not in the media. A lovely guide, called Lucy, English name, wondered why the United States was so developed; it being only 200 years old, whilst China with a 2000 year history and culture is so far behind. How do you respond to that? The young are so keen to see China develop and believe that foreign influence can help that. It will come from without and not within.

5. It was but two years ago that education became free. Libraries were non existant and people had little contact with books. Even now books are not readily available. Every morning as we sat at breakfast we could hear the local school children being drilled in their chants. The teacher speaking ov er the loudspeaker would instruct and they all shouted in unison. This lasted for 30 minutes every morning. The morning ritual seems to occur all over Beijing, be it Tai Chi or chants, in the parks or the corriders of the Temple of Heaven. Our daily swim before work, their daily exercise or chant.

6. The Mings and Qings were foremost in our tours of Beijing. As ever the mean always plagues me. Don Cooper never leaves my side! One emperor wrote 'the way of heaven is profound and mysterious and the way of mankind is difficult. Only if we make a precise and united plan and follow the doctrine of the mean, can we rule the country well' What do you say to that?

7. Our arrival in Guilin was blighted - it being 2.30 a.m. when we arrived at the hotel. We had to get up at 7.30 to be ready to go on the boat trip to the Karst landscape. Clouds cov ered Karst certainly. Postcards will have to give the full impression.

8. The great wall was impressive and more impressive was the fact that I made it to the second tower. The steps were steep and uneven and quite a few folks were staggering up and down. Jan was ill unluckily and managed to deposit her lunch over the wall.

9. The eyes are tired - so long for now.

Slanty eyes

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

1 The news of the day: the washing-machine no longer works. It has packed up. The drum refuses to turn. The water refuses to go away. Instead, I fear, there will be water on the floor when I open the door as a step towards recovering the water-logged items which lie inert in the machine. The machine is probably ten years young. But what can you expect these days. I'll just have to go back to the old ways.

2 And your news about a Wall. Two walls this year, one that has come down, and one that stretches for unimaginable distances and, though abandoned, has not come down. The wall that has come down remains in the mind. I wonder about the wall that still endures. To what extent is it in the minds of the people. What is the impact of the wall upon the lives of those who are able to say 'We built it'.

2.1 Of course, there will be picture-books in plenty, some of them (perhaps) with English text. Pictures of the Wall in faraway parts of the country, pictures of the Wall in mountainous country, in flatlands, in sunshine, during the night. Perhaps you could bring back one such book. A book of post-cards, of the kind which will allow scanning and thus of the kind which can be used to illustrate your talk to the Justice and Peace group and to the Injustice and War group as well.

3 A day off today. A late car-ride to my chum who lives north of Westerham in the heart, so it seems of the North Downs. In recent years, I have visited about once a year. Yet the visits remain easy: we pick up the conversation where we left it. He too reflects, muses, ponders, and constructs frameworks. We are not so much concerned with the answer as with the way of thinking about an answer or perhaps thinking about what an answer would look like, or even should look like.

3.1 A visit to Quebec House in Westerham, the home of the Wolfe family, of General Wolfe, father to the well-known Major-General Wolfe, the one whose army defeated the French and their allies on the Plains of Abraham. And the date?

4 SSAFA, credit union - the jobs are just piling up. I did the ironing today, and went visiting, so there will be all the more to do tomorrow.

5 And I chaired the first half of the FRBC AGM. Martin sends his regards. Mary was there. The Club added £266 to its money in the bank during the last six months. When the meeting discussed the subscription for the coming year, there was a proposal to continue with £10. I spoke against and proposed £3. Martin seconded my proposal, one which won the vote.

6 And so, lady-adventurer, it's time for bed. Time enough to think about a washing machine tomorrow, together with a train ticket to Chippenham next Tuesday, and the booking of an appointment with the dentist as the filling has come out, and the additions to June Vincent's FSA form, and further thinking about the onetime RSM who looked skeletal in his nursing-home bed when I visited him yesterday. What do do?

7 And the Maypole AGM. How do you find the time to go on holiday? Tell me.

Stayathome.